Hi Rani123,
Thank you for your reply. It is just cannabis and I think you are right – it’s the drink rather than the cannabis. Both together is a horrible combination. He uses cannabis to deal with a very damaging past, I know that, so, if I’m honest, I don’t mind the smoke too much but the drink is evil. He never, ever, gets nasty. If he did the relationship would have been over before it got going.
I have tried talking to him when sober – he is contrite, apologetic, ashamed. Then he has one beer and we are off… I can enjoy a couple of glasses of wine (sometimes far more , then regret it next morning!) but then I’ll go for the kettle and enjoy tea equally but he can’t. One glass is too much then 10 glasses is not enough. To make matters worse, I was widowed three years ago after 20 years of marriage to a man who was ‘moderation in all things’. I’m over 60 and ready to have a bit of fun in my life – and my partner is such a beautiful man in every other way – I want it to be with him, truly I do, if I could just address some of these issues.