You are not alone Twinkle.
You have a lot to contend with regarding your husbands addiction and the loss of your parents. Have you any close friends that you can confide in?
Drinking only makes me depressed so I find it better to abstain whilst going through my own problems. Suicide can sometimes feel in our darkest moments the only way out to end our pain and heartbreak but you have something you love your husband. Your other half, your soul mate.
You need to seek help yourself. Have you been to see your doctor?