I understand about overburdening friends. Like you say only so much. I’m in the same position, so I come on here.
Your wonderful home is your safe haven surrounded by good neighbours that is lovely and something to focus on. Could you also focus on work and not juggle it around your husband? Anxiety comes to mind. Make it all about you, make it all about your lovely home and keeping a roof over both your heads.
Has your husband seen the doctor?