Welcome, I haven’t been on for a while, mainly due to the fact my husband has now been clean since Feb. In the past he’d tried to quit so many times, however I think that was due to me threatening to leave etc. rather then him wanting to quit for himself.
I started working on me, I went to al anon, I realised finally that I was fighting a losing battle. I realised that no matter what I did, or said, it wasn’t gonna change anything. So I made a decision to leave and not have contact with my husband, this time though I wasn’t angry with him, I wished him well and tried to move on alone. This seemed to be the turning point where he realised he now had nothing else to lose, me and his kids were the last thing. I think he knew I’d began to change.
Anyway, all the other times he was still very much in an addicts mindset, he was still secretly taking codeine, as I’d find packets etc. I guess that’s why his personality never really went back to being 100% normal. This time however he’s completely free from all drugs. I’ve completely changed how I am with him though. I know that if he’s gonna use, he’s gonna use. All the worrying and trying to stop it happening won’t change a thing, he’s free to do as he wishes, if he chooses that path that’s up to him. Obviously I’ll be upset but I’ll cross that bridge when/if it happens.
I’ve recently had some major health issues, I seem to be having some neurological problems, numbness etc. The dr thinks it’s an inflammation of my nervous system. I don’t know if the stress of all I had to deal with last year has anything to do with it but it has made me realise that I need to look after myself better! No one is worth making you sick! I’m now trying to eliminate all stress and am trying my best to live the best life I can.
I wish you well 🙂