Hi Georgia
I know what you mean about the anxiety, it’s awful! My husband text me the other day to say he had to stay late at work, then again to say that he’d be even later, I immediately felt sick to my stomach that he might be lying and dreading if he’d relapsed! But I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I drove to pick him up and there he was still loading the van. I was so relieved, but I realised how awful it is even now, still on edge.
My marriage counsellor said when people experience trauma they seek reassurance that the trauma won’t happen again. So anything that comes up that might threaten our security sends a panic signal. Our body can’t tell real panic from false, but the longer we go without that trauma happening again the less we get startled. I’m gonna try and practise headspace meditation. I need to remember to focus on me. Like they need to continue to see cocaine as being bad, we need to continue to focus on us, and practise self love.
It’s so bloody hard though, isn’t it? X