i can feel it now – even when i think about it, it makes me feel sick? yes i had this before in counselling they said it was ‘fight of flight mode’ .. i get it now too, he said about his work Xmas party the other day staying overnight somewhere, usually i would be fine but i know one of his work colleagues sniffs coke so it made me feel anxious.
I get worried he will do it and we will be back to square one, i think he feels like im being controlling but im not, its just my own anxieties. I need to relax a bit – but it seems like when i relax and feel good it comes crashing down on me so im scared to let the barriers down.
I hope youre well though? im glad it wasn’t a relapse.. i really hope things start going well for you – you deserve it!!
its SO hard… i am getting better though – my mind was obsessive with it, it was making me ill, i wont allow that again though, this is the last chance though.
Vanilla – my advice would be to take time out and step out of the situation because honestly unless he wants to stop he wont and you’ll be left picking up the pieces.