Thanks for sharing that, I always find it really interesting listening to the addicts mindset, because from the outside it all seems mad and so irrational.
My husband tried many times to get clean, moved away various times, but each time he found ways of obtaining drugs, or switching one drug for another. He stopped coke but continued taking codeine etc. So where I’d always blamed the coke, his mood was just as awful on codeine. I don’t think it’s one particular drug that’s to blame, although coke it notorious for the extreme mood changes, it’s once the path has been crossed over into addiction that the problems start. That’s when the lying, the manipulation etc. Comes into play.
I like you, don’t understand it, eventually he just stopped. I worked on me and left him to do as he wanted. It was then, he chose another path for himself. So I’m thinking, it doesn’t matter where you are, how much your family threaten, or love you, nothing will stop you, until you reach that decision for yourself. I do agree, that when you’re in deep addiction, you need to get away, even temporarily, just so you’re out of that cycle, to then begin to contemplate another way of life. When my husband was deep in and using lots, nothing could have convinced him otherwise, once the money began to run out and I stopped caring, it seemed to loosen the grip.