Hi Kate, I feel your pain and empathise with you wholeheartedly. My son, nearly 32, moved back home with us in February after his wife of 3 years couldn’t cope any more. They have a 15 month old son too. He’d run up gambling debts and drug debts and has literally bankrupt them but also myself and his dad. We have been naive in the whole situation and honestly thought things would change if he moved back home. He’s remorseful every couple of weeks but is lairy, or has no energy, blames everyone else for his situation and lies, lies, lies! He’s had counselling on and off for years but his last lot he says went well and now attends a weekly group session. The last year has been the worst I have ever known him to be and he admits to having been doing cocaine since he was a teenager. We always thought gambling was the real issue but he’s admitted that cocaine is the real problem. I’ve been emotionally blackmailed into giving him thousands with the threat of what the dealers will do to his wife and baby. He’s threatened ending it all many times. Today I checked a coat pocket of his where I knew there were used tissues and rolled up receipts and a scratch card that he obviously sniffs the lines from. I wish I hadn’t as I found a fresh used bag. I’ve tackled him about it and he denies it saying it was an old one from his wallet. I’d warned him if I found anything else he’d be out but after arguing by text I’ve backed down. I can’t kick him out. He says he’ll go but he has no money and nowhere to go. Why can I not detach myself from him he’s 32 for Christ sake. Myself and my husband have both been to counselling and my husband attends a group for families and friends but he doesn’t know about this incident today. His wife is a nervous wreck and she has now filed for divorce. He has debt companies chasing him because he hasn’t paid the loans he’s taken out to cover his debt. He has literally made us all pathetic, helpless and broke. As B8988 said he is paranoid about his wife having affairs accusing her of all sorts. She has now filed for divorce. He’s become isolated, he was once the life and sole and very well liked but I believe our community know what he is now and don’t bother with him. I’m waiting for him to come home after his meeting to see what he has to say but I really don’t know how much more we can take. Oh and alcohol is another issue, he can’t just have one he has to become absolutely hammered. What happened to our lovely, talented son ????????????.
