Basically whist she’s in active addict you need to stop trying to understand any of her behaviour as it’s all bonkers. In the past I’ve poured my heart out to my husband and he’s took one little bit of say 10 paragraphs and twisted what he wanted and ignored the rest.
On Valentine’s Day last year I poured my heart out in pages of handwritten notes, pointing out how bad his behaviour is and how much it was killing me and his kids along with a wooden box with photos of us all throughout the years, hoping to trigger some kind of emotion out in him. He didn’t even respond. When he was feeling better and off drugs for a short while, he admitted that he didn’t feel anything and on reflection he thought it was sad!
They will only see our help as nagging. No criticism of any kind will be constructive. I know it’s hard but until they stop and some considerable time has past, you’re fighting a losing battle.