Hi itgeek,
Sad, unfortunately your not an expert at helping her and her mental health is in a horrible place! Ultimately she needs residential rehab and serious therapy to help her. I’m afraid you can never really help her because she is too familiar with your tactics! Sometimes we as people try our best to help someone but all we can do is try, if that person is so mentally deep in depression then the only way out is professional intervention. Sometimes your help may make it worse believe it or not and unless she escapes this destructive lifestyle and gets admitted then it will be a long road for everyone. I can’t advise you on what to do but please try your best to maintain your own sanity and only do what you can do. She can never love you because her mind needs help. I feel for you my friend, I really do.