That’s a shame you can’t use groups at present because of timing and distance. I hope your enquiries find you some support.
The excuses he uses are to justify to himself his behaviour which are likely to be causing him all sorts of feelings of shame. But, they are excuses at the end of the day.
My husband is currently saying he’s tried everything ( detox, group program, one to one, psychologist/ psychiatrist) but nothing has worked so he will just have to drink. I could shake him with frustration when I hear him being so defeatist. True, it hasn’t worked the first time but to me that means you have to try again. I keep thinking surely he realise this. Yet I suspect he never will. My own father drank himself to premature death, knowing full well his liver was packing up.
My husband and many other addicts are for some reason not sufficiently motivated by their own health and well-being (or that of their loved ones) to make the difficult changes/sustain the changes in the longer term. Nor can we make them even if we stand on our head turn ourselves inside out in an attempt.
The issue of what he might do if you left is understandable. However an unknown. I think you can be fairly confident about the harm he will do to himself and you if you stay. It’s very difficult to accept but you cannot manage his addiction. I’m not saying you should leave. That has to be your decision. But, I am saying don’t stay on the just in case. I mean, you probably recognise it could easily happen even if you stay!