I’m sorry to hear this. Please know that we on here know what you are going through. You will not want to hear what I have to say, I certainly didn’t when I first came on here, but the truth is this.
He has told you he didn’t like his ex as she was “controlling”. No, I bet he didn’t. We all get tarnished with that one.
You are now in a panic, you are going to want to fix him. I’m sorry, you can’t. I learned the hard way when after 20 years and two children together my husband had a psychotic meltdown and accused me of having an affair which for all the flack I got I certainly wish I had. I screamed, I begged, I pleaded, I acted kindly and sympathetically, I read up, I did everything to save him. He even begged to come back and I took him (after he left me by the way as I was “doing his nut in”) yeah right…that lasted 5 months. I finally divorced him in June.
The lies still keep coming fast and furious. You almost believe them they are such accomplished manipulators and liars. Even when my 9 year old son found weed in his car and I got a social services referral (no action taken as I am not an addict) he still minimised the extent of his drug taking lifestyle. And the cocaine. Well if you want to truly go to the dark side then that’s certainly the gateway.
I have suffered, my kids have suffered and all the while he swans about snorting and puffing bringing himself up and down like a friggin yo-yo without a care in the world.
I have been through two years of utter hell, suffered chronic depression, financial ruin and the light feels like it has been sucked out of my soul.
Your partner has a hole up his nose. That’s a heavy user. He’s going to lie to you left right and centre to get away with that one. I made the mistake of believing the lies for 8 years. My lovely kind caring gentle husband died years ago. I was in denial.
Confront him and see what he says. I bet he will regret having said that to you.
My advice, and I am sorry that this sounds harsh, is to walk and never look back. I truly wish somebody had said that to me. But I probably wouldn’t have listened. Sometimes the paths we go down are the ones we need for life to teach us the lessons we need to learn.