Hi chellou
I just want to tell you, when my husband came to live back with me last year, I lay some ground rules down. No contact with anyone to do with drugs. I snooped on his phone and it was his dealer, who, like your hubby happened to be a friend of his, he’d hidden him under a different name, but putting 2 and 2 together I worked out who it was as in conversation he’d called this lad by his nickname. When confronted he said that he still owed him money so didn’t want him to get funny so was just keeping friendly until he could pay him off. I was mad but tried to understand.
At that time my husband wasn’t using coke, but I had a feeling he was still abusing codeine. I’d keep finding evidence of wrappers, although he’d deny.
His empathy never returned and although I thought he was back to pre drug days, he still told lies over silly, little things. Well he massively relapsed shortly after.
This time he’s been clean, he really is clean.
Now I can see the difference in the two. He’s lovely, empathetic, and remorseful over everything he’s every done. He’s now willing to talk about anything to do with his drug past, where as before he’d close up!
This time his phone is left lying round, I can pick it up and check it whenever I want, his ringtone is no longer on silent. Basically you just know! I have no niggling feeling about anything as he’s now completely honest, he doesn’t even tell little lies, or if he does, he tries to rectify them straight away.
All I’m saying is, it’s a journey, he might get clean and there be no issues, but I feel that when they want to get clean for themselves, they make choices to stay away from people they know that will cause temptation etc. They take it upon themselves to do right.
Good luck with everything though, positive vibes being sent! Xx