Yes it’s like treading on eggshells.
We all become codependent, it’s a gradual thing, that just totally consumes us so we no longer act sanely. We become unwell ourselves. Friends and families will see things rationally but we won’t listen to any advice, especially if that means leaving the addict.
I suppose we are a bit like them. We are addicted to their drug use, as they are addicted to their drug. We are both acting insane. It’s not healthy for anyone.
They say the addict will only change when THEY want to. This is also true of us! We will only leave or start to put ourselves first, when we realise we’ve exhausted all our options, our lives have become unmanageable and we are awfully unhappy.
Sometimes I still slip into over analysing some of my husbands behaviour whilst in active addiction, but then I realise you can’t rationalise any of their behaviour, as it’s all insane!
I just continue to build myself up more and more each day so that if it ever goes wrong I will be much better prepared to deal with it. I know for sure I will never allow myself to become so ill focusing on someone else life choices that I make myself ill!