Hi Egg04,
It seems like all the wives on this forum with husbands on cocaine could write the same story, only alternating sightly.
Sorry you are going through all this, its so draining and so unfair. It seems to me like you do love him, and you also feel like you have to stick around because you dont want to be the reason he spirals, or tries to kill himself… right? But what about you, what about what you want.
Cocaine makes users selfish beyond comprehension, and they don’t give a darn about anything apart from what they want to do.
I don’t have a magic wand, if I did, I would string up all dealers, burn all the plantations of cocaine, and get all these poor addicts back on track. It really is about how much you can take, how strong you are and if you believe he wants to get help. It sounds like you have been through an awful time. You cannot live your life like this, you are still young. His problem is not your problem. Don’t get to my age (45 with a child together) broken.
Its not for anyone to tell you what to do, but what would you tell a friend going through what you are, to do? I think then you have your answer.
You said, dinner parties, holidays, you appreciate thats not all there is to life…. but wouldnt it be nice if you had a glimpse of that. No its not all there is to life, but nor is what you’re having to go through day after day.
Sending love x