Brrwz. Everyone’s story overlaps and I see much of my partners behaviour in ur story.
Sometimes it just help to get it out. I go through every emotion – anger, hate, frustration, sympathy almost every day.
We’re at the stage where it’s not even mentioned (it’s like the elephant in the room). I hope for your sake maybe he will succeed in giving it up at some point.
You need to look after yourself and stay strong x