Gutted. I can understand you feeling awful.
I think if you truly love him you cannot let him go. It’s not possible in my opinion. But probably stop contacting him , let him contact you. Let him hit rock bottom.
Its an excuse him telling you that you won’t let bygones be bygones. A good enough one in his mind to walk out and put his needs first. He would have used the argument as his excuse to go.
I can understand the ’emotionally unavailable’ that sounds like my ‘husband’ in fact it describes him quite well nowadays.
It is not right him walking out and leaving the kids alone. I don’t know if you remember my ‘husband’ left me, just went. It was six months later that I found out about his addiction. He is reckless, didn’t go to work.
I can also remember him defending a mate of his. Not to me but to a friend of ours he totally went on one when she said the person was a waste of space. He told her his was a respectable business man and was a different person nowadays. Do you know what, without the cocaine he would have said he was a waste of space and he had said so for years. But he started going around with this chap because he could take all the coke he wanted with him in tow. It’s all about them and their needs.
Try and look after yourself whilst he is going through his episode. We will never understand their thoughts and their addiction, how can we it’s not what we call normal.