Hi there, can I ask you something from an addicts perspective. Do you still feel love?
My husband tells me he loves me all the time, I’ve never doubted it, but when he becomes reckless on coke he tries to push me away. He’s done a runner since Thursday (claiming to blame a argument for the reason he’s left), despite a 5 year addiction where he lost nearly everything, he finally admitted he was an addict and had 7 months clean, but he never attended meetings and always thinks he can do it himself. This has happened twice now! He never seems to learn or maybe doesn’t want to.
He never seems to have the desire to go to meetings. He arranges then but misses appointments claiming work, or family commitments get in the way! Does this mean he isn’t serious about quitting? Someone told me they tell you what you want to hear to come home, then secretly plant a seed when to use and blame anything and everyone as to why they’ve relapsed. Or in my husbands case now denying he’s back using.
when I think it’s moving forward, it all goes back.
If he tries to come back this time I’m going to say no. Not until maybe a few years have passed. It has to be for the long term now! I love the real him, but can’t keep doing it to myself or my kids. After that time I doubt I’d want to risk it all again anyway.