B8988,
Hi, yes I do still feel love but my craving and addiction has taken over so badly that love never comes first. Everyone I know and I know many who suffer this disease say the same and it’s almost like we all share the same thoughts. In some form or another I’ve been an addict for 20 years and my wife has stuck with me. Maybe I’ve brainwashed her! At the moment I am only taking tablets to fight the cravings but it still affects me and my relationship. I’m a horrible person at times and I’m an expert at telling lies and starting arguments just so I can get high/give in to the cravings so I wish I could say to you that things can change but they won’t. He’s going to try everything in the book until you realise it’s a lie or you are financially and emotionally destroyed. I’ve seen it many many times before with some very successful friends. My advice to you don’t tolerate anything other that guarantees and results, include drug tests.
As you have said, you don’t want to risk it again so don’t let them kids suffer because you love the real him, it’s not him. If he’s strong enough then he will do it. I hope you have the strength.