Hi Huddle, hope your holding up,
It’s very important that you use sites like this to get in touch with your feelings and situations.
I feel it will be enormously useful for you because it will bring you closer to what you can do and can’t do for your son, and we can only do so much. My own brother suffered terribly with mental health issues and eventually I got the call to say his suffering had ended. We all worry about that call but as a mother you will never give up on him and that is a fact. Addicts will always find a way to feed the habit and stop at nothing to get the money to buy the drug even if it hurts others. You have already worked this out but do not give him any money at all! Feed him and assist with recovery support but remember you are not an expert so don’t put pressure on yourself to try and fix him. You are doing your best but ultimately he needs removing from everything and that is a dream we all wish could come true. I wish you all the luck in the world and remember that your a great mother with an independent sick child. I wish I had a mother.x