Danman83,
Don’t think relapse is failure because it isn’t, relapse is a sign of commitment to stop and without it you would simply be a user without direction.
Try to continue using this site as a therapy to you and the others you have helped because you have helped. I am certain that without this interaction you have had on this site you would have had a feeling of loneliness in your decease, so don’t stop posting for that reason.
Get as much professional help as you can and focus on helping others and it will help you.
Keep telling others of your progress goo or bad because it really helps.
I have relapsed more time than I can remember and it can only be done with HELP.
Good luck brother!