Ty again Retroheadz. I have felt a lot calmer today after reading all the wonderful posts you and others have sent me. I think the penny is finally dropping that I must not feel responsible for the life choices my son is making. As others have said this is his misery, his journey. I have my own journey to make even if it means we don’t walk the path through life together as Mum and son. I just spend hours wondering where I went wrong and was it something I said or did that drive him into the clutches of local drug users/dealers. I try not to think about it too much as that’s self destructive for me. My son seems to thrive on playing the victim & refuses to accept any responsibility for how rubbish his life has become. I am so so tired with the worry, the stress and feeling fearful practically every day. I smile and laugh with my 5 yr old grandson but because he’s too young to understand and my work colleagues obviously don’t know it’s like living a double life. I’ve become the consummate actress at hiding the pain of it all but I am determined to stay strong and pray that one day soon my true son will take back control of his life and return to his little family. Thank you again for your wise words. X
