Hi PokerFace,
Do you have a positive support network around you, positive relationships, I’d guess probably not because my husband sounds like you (well he’s 6 months clean) but your story is similar, and believe me when I say, all those so called mates that hang around you, wont be there when you are clean, BUT the best mates who are true friends, see the change in you and support you, will be the people you need. I was at the end of my tether with my husband, it wasnt the money, he could afford it. It was the UTTER disregard to anybody elses feelings aside his own. Staying out all night, phone off, working late, the agressive mood he’d return in if I dared to ask questions about his whereabouts. He didnt care about me, or his kids, his parents had started to notice, people he worked with were on the verge of leaving because they didnt want to work in an environment where coke users/dealers were frequent visitors, he couldn’t be bothered to do anything. 6 Months clean and he’s a different person, he has motivation, he has drive, he has love to give and we love him!
Taking the first step in admitting you have a problem is the hardest. There was nothing I could have said to my husband to make him stop, even ending up in hospital after an overdose because I couldn’t see a way out of this s**t life didn’t stop him. This cocaine fuelled world is good for nobody, not you and not the people around you.
Take a step back, not high, not on a come down, and think how much more fulfilling life could be without being a slave to it.
Good luck x