Hi
I actually don’t know what to wright on here but I need help desperately too.
I work hard and have children
But five yrs ago me and my partner fell out of love, and I had a affair
It was the most amazing thing buzz ever
I’ve always had a addictive personality and always dabbled behind my partners back and wasa heavy drinker with out anyone really knowing, but the affair was just day in day out sex and cocaine , I lost my job I was depressed and went back to my partner, but secretly done it still ,
With now parted after 15 I’ve gone from huge house money and a life and some one that actually loved me before I fucked it up, too trying to cope in a private renting house and loneliness, even when I’ve done a 15 hr shift I’ll grab it at night , Iam 40 now and just want to be like people in the street , but I try, but not hard enough because being on my own for few hrs I just think it’s ok it’s just one!! Then that turns me anxious as doing it on my own and paranoid so more then booze to calm down Blar Blar you lot all know this,
I miss me I miss my old personality and I have counselling I ve been to groups but I fail every single time x