Hi Gemlou,
Thanks for posting. I’m sorry that you are in this situation. It’s really very hard.
I work for a charity called Icarus Trust. You may like to contact us as we offer support to people who are dealing with the same things as you. We have trained and experienced people who would be able to talk to you which might help you to decide what to do next. If you contact us I would put you in touch with one of them.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
I hope this helps.
Good luck.