Oh wow Ginger71 how dreadful for you. I’ve replied to Justamum so hopefully you’ll read my post & learn where I’m up to with my son. Hubby took me to Cumbria overnight this last weekend as he could see I was at breaking point. As I’ve mentioned I got home to find a note from my son asking for food & money, then I saw him tonight (all described in my post to Justamum). All the benefit of the fresh air & “away from it” vanished in a millisecond on seeing my son & the awful state he is in. More tears, more worry & despair. My heart is screaming at me to relent, let him move in etc but my head equally screams “No!” – he MUST help himself & stop relying on me & others to bail him out & keep lifting him up only for our hopes & dreams to come down with a crash when he returns to the one thing that is destroying him. I have this constant image of him now in my head. I can’t help but look at photos of him as a young boy – laughing, smiling, healthy & loving life. My heart will never be the same. I cannot stand the lies, the deceit, the false promises. It’s a rollercoaster of intensifying agony & I really can’t bear another moment. Tomorrow is another day, wearing my mask as so many others suffering have to do as their loved one presses “self destruct”. I am trying to stay strong but every minute that becomes harder. Hugs to all especially Danman83, Justamum, Ginger71 & all that have posted a reply to me. God Bless you all xxx
