Hey let me tell u ur not an idiot, ur just someone who wants a good life, normal as we put it and u have every right. I have friends and family who live sober lives and when I think how my life compared with them, I realise it was not healthy, it was not ok and realise now how tiring it was, constantly walking on eggshells, my anxiety levels were sky high but I never realised this. I tried to put up with it for 13 years but in the end, I couldn’t take it, the lies, the stress and had to leave. You do what u think is right for u and if that means random drug tests then so be it. There is no sugar coating this, addiction wrecks lives. I really hope it all works out for u and he seeks help. I dont know if my husband can do this with willpower alone but like I say he has finally asked for professional help via counselling, and that’s a big step for him as he never thought he had a problem. Talk to ur husband and tell him ur worried about ur future, explain how u feel. He most likely will try to brush it off as no big deal and try to make it out he has it under control but let me tell u from experience, or 13 years experience should I say, that addicts will lie. They are not bad people, addiction is a brain disease and when they get that craving, they generally give in but if they work on their thoughts feelings and behaviour, there is a chance they can overcome those urges. Mine is still work in progress so I cant say for sure whether they can cure their addiction without proper professional help. Just remember ur not alone, there is a wealth of information out there, since I joined various forums I have to say I feel a little less anxious, theres some really good advice out there. It is hard as we do love them but we have to be careful we dont wear ourselves down by forgetting to love ourselves x
