You’re story is mirror image of my marriage. We met 2004 married 2007 and have two children now 11 and 10.
He was the love of my life x the connection we had was more than anyone could understand x I worshipped him x in the first couple of years we would do coke every couple of weeks or so and go clubbing and go to Ibiza 3 short breaks a year to go mad x then we got married and had kids and for me that wasn’t what I wanted to do anymore x he’d say I was boring now I was a mum and he was upset that the kids were my priority. About a year on, I’d noticed our disconnect and he was distant and going about his own business, he said it was cos he needed to earn more as the kids cost more. Though it turns out he had been doing coke on a daily basis, he started putting his money in business account instead of joint, he cancelled direct debits and stopped paying bills. I didn’t click on this for a good 3 years, then I found empty bags in his van and his work areas, he tried to deny it but didn’t have a leg to stand on, I trusted him so never had reason to question him or cheque accounts, he’d been spending £200- £300 a week on it and cancelled all my direct debits to cover it. Getting me in debt.
Even though I’d caught him out he swore he’d stopped but never did!
I left him2 years ago, me and kids left the family home whilst he stayed, living there like a down and out. He hasn’t paid the mortgage in 15 months forcing the bank to apply for repossession!! Yet it’s still all my fault for leaving him as he can’t cope in his own.
I lost my soul mate, the love of my life to cocaine. He’s now an evil, selfish, vindictive, spiteful shell of a man. He’s a completely different person who has no feelings for anyone but himself. Trying to get through to him and try support him results in him telling me what a bad person I am, bad mother, greedy for wanting maintenance and need to see a doctor as I’m crazy for saying he’s a cocaine addict x I love him so much but he’s gone. The coke has got him and we’ll never get him back xc