Me too Larko.
What I’ve came to realise is the high if you can call it a high, isn’t worth £40 a time, isn’t worth the guilt, isn’t worth the late nights and then the endless cravings. It’s just not. I had better highs from dodgy E’s when I was a tear away teen lol. And I wouldn’t dream of taking an E now, so why do I as an adult think it’s normal to waste all this money on such a shit pointless 20 min high, that I’m chasing all night. Finding £20 in my old jeans that’s a proper high lol, eating a naughty slice of pizza is a real good high haha, and it’s a slice I’m not ashamed of. Wouldn’t go around bragging about having a slice of “fruit” cocaine in case you’re not familiar with that terminology lol. I’m even ashamed that I know it lol. I know all the pathetic names for it
Yayo, Beak, Powder, Charlie, fruit, slice, key I mean the list goes on. All things people come up with so they didn’t have to say the word Cocaine. Because it’s not something you want anyone to know about. That’s another reason why I want off it for good. The thought of anyone knowing I use. The thought of my children ever finding out.
I’m out of pocket, and riddled with guilt.
But being on this site, proves we’re not alone, we all share the same guilt, and the same want to be a better person.