Wow this sounds very similar to the situation I’ve encountered. I’m so sorry your going through this and it’s horrendous from what you’ve mentioned the arguing and the abuse and abusive messages.
When he normal does he regret what he done? Apologise or says you should?
Your right to call him out on his behaviour!
I have also seen this and experienced it. Substituting one for another it’s mental is it addictive personalities or just purely one addiction to another. When you mention psychotic behaviour what kind of things? Just wondered as help me make sense of some irractic behaviour?
Sounds like your very strong individual! Any suggestions on what I could do? I know it takes it toll time to time doesn’t it on people/loves ones?