Hi Deedee, I know how you feel. My boyfriend has been addicted for many years although I naively was not aware until about a year ago. I too feel like I’ve had to be so strong to the point where I don’t think I even let myself feel my own feelings anymore. The pain used to kill me when he disappeared I would be up all night trying to ring him and text him, now I just go to bed early to stop the pain. It’s getting to the stage where I wish I was with someone who looked out for me and had my back as much as I’ve had his. I also feel the same, if my boyfriend was not to live at my house he has nowhere to go so would end up at a friends taking cocaine even more I am sure. If you need someone to talk to I would be happy to listen. My boyfriend has said over and over again he will stop so I agree wanting to stop and being ready to stop are very very different, it’s positive he has stopped drinking if that’s something that goes hand in hand with taking cocaine. Sorry to hear about your dad, I hope he steps up and takes care of you and supports you like you need right now x
