Hi Laura,
I’m sorry to read that you are really confused about your boyfriend’s decisions. If you would like some support for yourself please contact us at The Icarus Trust as we are a charity providing support for people affected by another person’s addiction. We have people you could talk with who have a lot of experience of what you are going through.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
All the best.