Some of his mates do sell it yes and I know he can get it very easy from multiple people which is quite sad how easy it is for him to get it.
It’s hard because in my view these aren’t friends as friends are someone who look out for you and want the best for you not to push drugs on you when you clearly have a problem but to him in his eyes these people are his friends. I don’t know how aware they are of him having a problem, part of me feels like I should reach out to some of them and express how bad he is incase they aren’t aware but I feel like that would cause conflict between me and my boyfriend. I’ve never been on friendly terms with any of them but do know some of them through him but personally never spent any time with them. These aren’t friends who have a relationship with him outside of drinking and coke which I am obviously not part of.
I think you are right I think he feels shit a lot of the time, I can see him playing with our daughter sometimes and see the real him if that makes sense and other times he can’t be bothered to get up off the sofa to play with her and I can see the affect of the drug and don’t recognise him.
I know it isn’t going to be an easy road and some time I do feel like it may be easier to cut my loses and move on but I’ve invested 15 years of my life to him and if he left the only place he would go would be to one of his friends sofas. I just wish I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. He’s handed over his online bank details to me this week and turned on location services on his phone so I’m hoping these are steps forward for us.
Good luck on your recovery it sounds like you are trying really hard to be strong and thanks for the support and advice.