Hi Gabby,
I’m so sorry to read your post and see how uncertain you feel in what to do next. It’s a really hard decision for you. If you would like some help please contact us at The Icarus Trust.
We are a charity that provides support for people who are dealing with the addictive behaviour of a partner or family member. We have very experienced people who, if you get in touch, you could talk with. Maybe that might help you see a way forward.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
I hope this helps.
Good luck.