I’ve taken the step every recently to spilt up with him. it has been so difficult because i always wanted to perceive to everyone that i had a perfect life and i would cover up his addiction to my family. Although my sister is a senior mental health nurse she knew what was going on. I opened up to her and she was so understanding. she told us exactly what groups to go to and there were so many around where we live. he went to about 3 meetings in total before he thought that he was better than anyone else there. and then my sisters opinions got in the way of what would be professional help and it got all too confusing. i know that all she wanted to do was to protect me, but all i wanted to do was protect him and we would fight with each other about it.
Over time i have given him so many ultimatums. i recently kicked him out last year in October because i found out he was taking drug with his step mum, when we were at a fireworks event at the local pub, and he confessed after. i just thought to myself that there is no getting away from it even his family were allowing him to take drugs knowing that he was an addict. it was heartbreaking.
i took him back in December because i knew deep down that it would be our last Christmas together and i wanted it be one that our son wouldn’t forget, even though he is only 2! but as always the drugs crept back in and it just got worst. he is a shift worker and will do nights. he would come home at 7am and do drugs while the little one was eating his breakfast. he would be so paranoid that someone would come into the flat and would constantly check windows and doors. it was just so painful to see. i would shout at him that if he was going to do it to stay in the bedroom, but he always came out to check if our son was ok as he was paranoid that something has gone wrong with him. My son would get upset and so would i. i would have to get my son dressed and just run out anywhere for the whole day until i knew it was safe to go back in.
my partner always done drugs after a night out, it just went hand in hand for him. He would stay at a friends house and not answer the phone to me after a night out. he would say to me that he was ashamed of what he had done and didn’t want to talk to me.
The best thing would to give him some time to think about what he has done. He will speak to you, but i wouldn’t do it until he wanted to talk to you. Be strong no matter how hard you are tempted to talk to him, call a friend or a family member instead and chat about something else to take your mind off it until he texts or calls. And when he does, and if he does confess about him taking drugs and drinking, just ask him why he done it and what do you think temped him to? was it the people or the situation? and ask him if he wants to stop what does he think is the catalysis to begin with. and if you still want to be together then tell him that, tell him that you want to help him and he has your support. But i wouldn’t drive there. You need to think about yourself at the same time, take this time to write a few things down that could possible help him. xx