Hi
Well my initial thoughts were, you can see me and tell me to my face that’s the least you owe me. I’ve been his rock through his divorce and the sale of his business which he found hard to let go. My boyfriends wealthy so always thought his habits were OK as he can still run a business.
After sitting on his text on Tuesday night I replied yesterday. It all unravelled. He basically was putting off speaking to me because he doesn’t know how he feels at the moment. He describes it as numb and emotionless. He says he avoided contacting me because he knew this would upset me so he blocked it out and pretended it wasn’t happened with a view to hoping his feelings would re surface once he gets himself better.
He said lockdown has been the best thing for him, he’s getting up training eating well and going to bed and that’s all he knows right now. He also opened up about some home truths of just how bad his addiction has been in the past which I didn’t know.
He said he needs to do this journey on his own and that he will not be the same person he used to be when he comes out of this. There are times when he has been low (three week sober today) really low but he’s getting better and better each day. He’s taking himself through abstinence and it’s seems to be working because he’s doing a lot of reading to educate himself on what’s happening to his mind.
He did say he still loves me and I’m the most selfless person he’s ever met and that he prays that he comes out of this and we’ll be OK.
I just need to leave him to find himself. That may mean he totally doesn’t recall any feelings for me in the future and that’s the end of us or maybe he does. But even he doesn’t know himself x