I’m just so weak I can’t bare when he crys and tells me he’s sorry and he won’t do it again. He has stayed sober since that post but he has now got a lock on his phone which I discovered. On Saturday he was about to go out to a shop I just had a feeling he was going to get cocaine. I told him straight if that was his plan to go elsewhere and do it. He went nuts shouting that I was a control freak and that I’ve got issues. He came back and he was sober and woke up in the morning expecting him to be out of it but he wasn’t. I just knew he was hiding something though so tried to look at his phone in the middle of the night and he has fingerprint lock on his messages. I told him this is totally unacceptable to me and this is a clear indication to me of his deceit and I just can’t stop thinking he is cheating which I’ve never thought before. I’m feeling very drained today like I don’t know how to get out of this. I’m too tired, I just want to run away by myself. I don’t feel like I can be a mum at the moment, I just feel like a total disaster and the kids would be better of without me messing there life’s up
