I wish it was a nightmare but I used to awake every morning to this ‘living mare’ the feeling of sickness and dread. I couldn’t believe this could be happening to us.
The problem is cocaine takes over, it is their first thought. Imagine cocaine being chosen before you.
They will lie and manipulate. Even when I found out what was occurring he denied it, then he told me he was taking more than I thought. Then another day he told me he hadn’t had any for four years and he swore on his dads life, I kid you not. Swearing on his dads life was a sickener for me. I walked out the room as I had nothing to say. His dad has cancer and I know what he will say at a later date. That his dad is already dying so it didn’t matter. He wouldn’t have sworn on his mothers life. Monsterous behaviour.
He does try getting the sympathy off others because I won’t give him any. I’m pretty straight john bull and I don’t lie to folk.
‘Husband’ knew the risks of taking the stuff, he told me years ago about our mate being really ill with it. He also told me how he would hate to be seen sniffing the stuff as it was disgusting, his words not mine. It was his choice to go down that road, no one shoved it up his nose.
The only sympathy I have is for our families and our happy life which is lost.