Hi FatheroF3. Thanks so much for your post.
Your words really hit home. Since my post my husband came to visit with the kids and as he was leaving he sobbed uncontrollably in his truck. I do not think he saw me and I pretended as if I did not see him.
I definitely want to do what is best for my children and myself. I know there is nothing I can do for him if he doesnt want the help. I see glimpses of hope but it quickly fades as he returns to his apartment that he is sharing with his new friends, the one who are in this mess with him and considering they are homeless and how much money my husband went through, I’m sure my husband is feeding everyone’s habit and paying all the other bills as well.
I suppose I’m nervous about filing for divorce or doing anything to “push him over the edge” so to speak. I don’t know if he realizes what hes done. I don’t know if he realizes what he lost. I have no idea what hes doing and I guess since this is all new, I want to somehow fix it. I think I also cant accept that this is my new reality and I’m hung up on wanting him to realize the consequences of his actions.
This completely came out of nowhere. Im sure it started out as fun and then he used our arguments as the catalyst to move out and go be with his new friends. I mean he moved out of a gorgeous, large home with his family and moved into an furnished apartment with homeless people.
I guess there is really nothing I can do except walk away? Focus on healing myself and taking care of the kids. Perhaps that is what I’m struggling with the most. At the end of the day I’m really the only person that he has and its frustrating to watch him continue to destroy everything. And there’s nothing I can do about it.