Thanks LemonySnicket. I can relate to your situation so much. I too, believed that the addiction he told me about had never really gone away. The financial and emotional catastrophe I am currently enduring is just unbelievable. It is completely unbelieveable what he did and how he did it – to ruin us financially – and take away so much from his own children. It’s all still so fresh, still so new. It’s like I’m so angry and sad at the exact same time. I want him to see and to feel the consequences of his actions. I want him to be held responsible. I want him to look into the eyes of his children and see what he did. But he doesn’t, does he? Do addicts ever? Then of course I am my own worst enemy and start second guessing what I could have done differently, what I should have done differently. It’s a hard pill to swallow trying not to think of it like I wasn’t good enough to stop him, that the kids and I and everything we built together wasn’t good enough to stop him. That he should have chosen us over the drugs. I know that’s my way of thinking and in time that will pass.
Just everything right now is so difficult. Kudos to you for taking such a difficult step and initiating divorce and moving forward for you and the kids. I should most definitely put on my life jacket.
Thank you!