SongbirdGarde76, Thank you. (Side note, something is wrong with my spell check so if you see obvious mistakes it’s my computer). In terms of coming to a realization, I can share with you what made me come to my decision to get help. I was eating dinner with my family. At that time my youngest was 3 years old but he was eating more than me. I weighed 129 lbs. at that time and miserable. For years I avoided looking myself in the mirror because I knew and felt the deterioration in my body. So that night after dinner I went to brush my teeth and something told me to look in the mirror. Finally, I faced my fear and did it. What I saw was a hollow shell staring back at me and I cried to myself for about 15 minutes. The next day I went to work, called a meeting with my superiors and told them that I had some family business that I needed to take care of and I’ll be gone for a while. They knew what was going on, shucks I was 129lbs., my normal weight is 180lbs. I had to swallow my pride and humble myself and let someone else drive. My way wasn’t getting me anywhere. SongBird76, that was the best investment I’ve ever made. I keep a picture of myself when I was at the airport holding my 3 year old ready to go to Rehab in Florida. I still look at that picture today and it reminds me of how I was feeling at that time because of addiction. Now, if the thought of using cross my mind, I ‘play the tape out” because I know that 1 is too many and 1000 is never enough (NA literature)
