Hi Vicki, I’ve come to this forum because I’m going through a similar situation with my partner (or ex- as of last week). He had been clean for a year and we have had the most amazing year together, he’s the most kind loving genuine person when he’s clean, I love that man so much. We have just been away on a month long trip, and we had to cut it short due to the pandemic and return to separate houses. I felt sick with the thought of a lockdown because I knew he was going to get worse. He started relapsing whilst we were away even with the thought of coming home to a lockdown and now the stress of not being able to leave, be with me or do the things we had planned to do has caused him to use more and go downhill massively, so much so he rang me last week blind drunk and ended things with me on the phone, completely out of the blue and out of character, because ‘he needed to be on his own’. The boyfriend I know and love has just been replaced by this cold addict with no emotion. The only way I can cope with it is just knowing that when they’re in the grip of it, they’re a different person with different feelings. As you said it’s almost like they use the pandemic as an excuse to use again.
I just hope and pray he gets the strength to somehow pull himself out of it and cope during this awful time, and maybe eventually try to salvage our relationship that seemed perfect just a matter of a few weeks ago. But speaking to counsellors, and also other people on here, we also need to take care of ourselves during this time and I’m so sorry you have to go through this living in the same household, with children. Must be so tough. But you’re not alone. Sending lots of love x