Hi,
I really hope that you are ok. What a horrible time you are having and definitely you are not an attention seeker.
If you would like some support for yourself please contact us at The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports people going through dealing with a partner’s addiction. We have trained people who you could talk to completely anonymously if you think it would help.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
Look after yourself.