Hi Bear,
Thanks for posting and sharing your story. Yes it’s really hard what you are going through with your son’s addiction. Sadly, he will only start to get better when he realises he needs help for himself.
However, there is help available for yourself if you feel you could do with some support. We are a charity called The Icarus Trust and we offer support to people who are dealing with the impact of a family member’s addiction. We know how hard this is to cope with so we offer a service called Family Friends. These are our trained and experienced people who would understand what you are going through. If you contact us I can put you in touch with one of them. Maybe talking would help to answer some of your questions and help you to find a way ahead.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
I hope that you can find some help. Good luck with everything.