Hi Q18
Thanks for posting,
Perhaps you would like some support for yourself in this situation. If so please contact us at The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that provides support for people who are dealing with the addictive behaviours of a partner. We have trained people you could talk with which might help you to find answers to some of your questions.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
I hope that this helps. Good luck.