CHall81.. I am in your position. Currently trying to walk away from my boyfriend after 2 years of heroin and crack use. He went into recovery late Feb. Found out last week he lapsed. So I have put up the same barriers – blocked him on all forms and when he knocked at my door last week, I didn’t open it.
Your fella will come back to you.. three days is NOTHING in the chaotic life of an addict. He will get low and come back to you. ADDICTS ALWAYS COME BACK.
Your question should be how much longer do you want to be on this merry-go-round? Then ask yourself this: Can you trust this man again? Because if you can’t, then it’s over. Don’t expect the truth from an addict. A drunk will steal your wallet and apologise. An addict will steal your wallet and help you look for it.
We can’t break away because this relationship, this person is OUR addiction. Maybe you are still at the stage where you still believe you can ‘save him’. That their love for you is enough for them to stop using the drugs. Consider this: women have given up their children for drugs, men have lost their jobs, their houses, addicts have lost EVERYTHING for their drugs. Love is NOT ENOUGH.
You have to start loving yourself. Looking after yourself. Because he won’t. I have walked home alone at 4am because my addict boyfriend cared more for his drugs than me. I could have been mugged, raped, murdered.
You MUST protect your kids, because believe me, you might think you are shielding them from it, but kids are very perceptive, they see a lot more than they say.. and this could have long-term ramifications for your children. Use this silence between you to build your resolve. Put in place some boundaries. And stick to them.
Here if you want to chat or message. STAY STRONG!