Trust me, it’s NOT you.
You will have changed as a result of this but you can make this a positive experience and learn from it. You will go through a lot of things.. acceptance being one of them .. and the anger should subside .. but you don’t sound like you are in a loving supportive relationship. You will almost certainly never get what you need from this man. As I have learned. Which breaks the heart. Because you love them. You want things to be as they were. You want to see the best in them. You tell yourself how much they love you really.
You clearly have no trust there. Same as me. You need to start putting up some boundaries to protect yourself. What do you think might help? Do you live together? Is this a relationship you feel you can walk away from.. are you ready to?