Everything you are saying to me are things i could have said myself. I think the biggest thing for me is that im so angry at him for ruining what we had and we cant get that back. We were supposed to be getting married, he said when he got his tax back we were going to book our wedding. He got it back and recently told me he has paid some of a £5000 drug debt with it. Its just one thing after another. Then on the other hand he can be an amazing step dad to my 2 kids. He is the only person who has made me feel the most love but also the most hurt.
He moved into my home a year ago, but i dont rely on him financially. I could never put myself i that position with him he cant be trusted with his money. Hes got a good job when he actually goes, but never has money. He contributes once in a blue moon. I honestly dont know how i feel anymore. I cant imagine where the relationship can go, i wouldnt want a lifetime of this or to buy a house together.