if you will allow me to give you some practical advice…
he has a good job, but never any money. He contributes once in a blue moon (which sounds to me like he is getting an almost free ride with you). Are you 100% sure he is not still using? Do you really have enough trust that you can say that. I ask you this because you – like I – will lie to yourself and try to convince yourself all is ok. It was only when my every instinct was screaming at me that I faced what I knew – my partner had lapsed and was using.
If there is ANY danger he is using, make sure you keep your money/cards/valuables well away from him. Keep them with a trusted love one if you have to.
You have a lot of anger, so you need to speak to someone and find a way to resolve this. If it transpires he is still using.. how much angrier will you get? You will feel like a fool for trusting him (you’re not a fool by the way) You’re a good decent person, trying to see the best in someone that has an addiction). Ask yourself this: do you care for yourself as much as you do this man? And then ask yourself this: how much does he seem to care for you – when he dismisses your feelings, invalidates them (which ALL addicts do, rather than own their part in your unhappiness).
Being with an addict is like dragging someone from a burning building and they keep running back inside. At some point, you will get so burnt you have to walk away – to save yourself.
Is there no chance you could reconnect with your sisters? Your family? It is not something to be ashamed of, to go for help and be honest. Even if you wrote them a letter? If not, you have us on the forum.. and the link for the live chat I gave you (those guys are amazing).
I read what you wrote and honestly, you are not in a relationship that’s worth saving.. the same as I am not. I am maybe a bit further down the link, having blocked him and living on my own.. but i KNOW how difficult it is to break away.
Do you honestly think anything is going to change?