I guess my experience is different because I (mercifully) don’t live with my (now ex) partner. When he used he would just go off radar but it wouldn’t be too noticeable to me as he’d do it overnight – so I’d only not hear from him til mid morning next day.. until it got a hold of him. But he would never do it around me, and I never ever saw any drug paraphenalia. At his worse he started pawning his belongings. However (maybe strangely), he NEVER ONCE took money from me for drugs. Never asked for money. He also didn’t seem to itch his skin, except for his legs which were genuinely affected by really dry skin. Maybe he wasn’t using that heavily…?
He did come to me in the middle of the night once, spaced out and needing to come down. He’d been driving round, over the limit for drink and drugs. He seemed scared. Had to drink alcohol to come down. I also spoke to him during a massive paranoid episode, he was convinced someone was trying to break into his flat. All delusions.
Last time I saw him, I asked him if he had lapsed. Tried to talk to him, he couldn’t stop himself swearing at me. I knew in my heart he was using again. I waited til the early hours that night. Switched his new phone on (he had taken to suddenly turning it off).. and found the drugs calls and the dealers I knew (he hadn’t even tried to hide their names in his contact list). This after changing his number and promising me they were history. I walked home at 4am that night and haven’t seen him since. He has come to my door and I didn’t answer.
I consider myself lucky compared to some. Just trying to find the strength to keep him away from me.
Thanks for your advice Dfh.. xxx